


Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Lizzy, Joey, and The Double Rainbow

by ScreamoShaymin



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pokemon Mystery Dungeon
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Dark Comedy, Double Rainbow, Gen, Oh My Fekkin Gahd, Tragedy/Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3926053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreamoShaymin/pseuds/ScreamoShaymin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lizzy's determined to find the pots of gold under a double rainbow, and she's going to get it whether Joey likes it or not!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Lizzy, Joey, and The Double Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> Pokemon Mystery Dungeon belongs to Nintendo, Game Freak, and Chun Soft. Any similarity to anyone’s Pokemon OC is strictly coincidental and unintended. Happy reading!

Joey the Charmander was fast asleep, while his partner Lizzy the Skitty was staring out the window. Lizzy’s gaze was fixed on something in the distance, and it was apparently entrancing. She stood there unblinking, drooling, and just barely breathing. All of her energy was fixed on whatever the heck was outside that window. She kept staring at it like she had been for the past four hours. I just hope she doesn’t dehydrate her eyes.  
Joey stirred, and by stirred, I mean he started to move. There’s coffee in this world, don’t worry; it’s just that Joey wasn’t drinking any. Anywho, he woke up and started rubbing his eyes. He took a look over at Lizzy and started. “Morning, Li—“  
“OH MAH FEKKIN GAHD IT’S A DOUBLE RAINBOW!” Lizzy shouted in all caps. “It’s a fekkin double rainbow, Joey! Come here and look!”  
Joey had not gotten the opportunity to get up and look. Lizzy dragged him over to the window and pressed his face against it. He could see it alright. It was a perfect sight; all of the colors could be seen. It was off in the distance above the forest, where it seemed to crash down in the middle of it.  
“It’s uh… pretty?” Joey said, sounding confused.  
“It’s so fekkin pretty!” Lizzy announced, licking the window.  
Joey looked at it a bit longer. “Y’know, I’ve heard that there’s always a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.”  
Just imagine the Jeopardy theme playing as Lizzy thought about the words she had heard. After several seconds of thought, she finally interjected. “Oh my fek, you know what that means?”  
Joey knew what it meant. He was about to say it and managed to open his mouth, but he was interrupted.  
“It means we’re somehow connected! Like we’re meant to meet each other! I remember something someone said to me once… ‘All things happen for a reason’… Maybe we have a greater destiny?”  
Joey stared at her for a good few seconds. “Actually, I was thinking that there would be twice as much treasure under a double rainbow. Of course I was joking…”  
He could already see the dollar signs in her eyes. She lit up, giddy at the thought of treasure. Oh, the things she would buy… ice cream, a new home, ice cream, some better tools, ice cream, some new furniture for the base, and of course… ice cream.  
“We have to go to the end of that rainbow,” Lizzy said, all of her concentration on the thoughts of new things.  
“I was joking, Lizzy, I don’t think—“  
“We have to get to the end of that rainbow!”  
“Let’s be reasonable, here. Do you really think—“  
“WE HAVE TO GET TO THE END OF THAT RAINBOW!” Lizzy said, dragging Joey out the door and on the path to the forest and quite possibly the double rainbow.

 

It had been quite some time before they made it to the entrance of the dungeon. Lizzy continued to drag Joey along the way, to which he had grown used to, and had actually fallen asleep. Once Lizzy checked to make sure the rainbow was still in the sky, she kicked Joey in the ribs and yelled at him to get up.  
“That bunch of gold can’t be too far away from us now,” Lizzy told him as he got to his feet and dusted himself off. “Joey, hand me the map. We’ve gotta figure out where exactly it is!”  
Joey did not hand her anything.  
“I said gimme the map!”  
Joey looked at her sheepishly.  
“Joey!!! Where’s the fekking map?!”  
“We… we forgot it back at base,” he told her nervously.  
“YOU DID WHAT?” Lizzy shouted with figurative and literal fire in her eyes.  
“You dragged me out in such a hurry, you didn’t think to pick it up,” Joey said.  
“You mean YOU forgot to pick it up! You idiotic imbecile of a doofus, now we gotta go back!”  
“Oh, too bad. Now we can’t get the nonexistent gold from the double rainbow.”  
As soon as she heard the word “gold,” Lizzy’s fur stood on end. “Oh, we’re getting that gold! I’m going to be rich, map or no map!”  
She stormed off into the woods, not taking into account how dark they were. After a few moments, she came back and started dragging Joey again to use the lit flame on his tail.  
They continued on until they found a Shroomish, who didn’t appear too friendly.  
“Eep! A fungus! Kill it! Kill it with fire!”  
“I resent that statement,” said both Joey and the Shroomish while Lizzy scurried up into a nearby tree.  
“I don’t care, just burn the fekking thing! Gahd!” Lizzy clung to one of the branches for dear life, hoping that the Shroomish below wouldn’t touch her. Joey sighed.  
“Look, we don’t want to battle. I’m sure you don’t want to get hurt. Do you think we could go on without a fight?” he inquired the small green Pokemon.  
“I dunno, man…” the Shroomish said in a slowish, kind of stoned voice. “She called me, like, a fungus. I was really offended by that.”  
“Right, but I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” Joey cajoled.  
“Yes I did!” Lizzy shouted from above.  
“All we’re trying to do is find the end of this stupid rainbow,” Joey bent down to the other Pokemon’s level. “She thinks there’s treasure at the end of it.”  
Shroomish pondered for a moment. “What’s, like, in it for me, man?”  
“We’ll leave you alone. Like I said, we’re not looking for a battle.”  
Shroomish pondered some more. “Y’know what, man, I want some of that treasure.”  
“No fekking way!” Lizzy shrieked from her branch.  
“Then I’ll, like, use my Stun Spore on you, man. It doesn’t matter to me.”  
“Lizzy, we’re gonna have to give him treasure if there’s some there! Just say yes!”

 

Lizzy dragged Joey along, this time because he had been paralyzed by the Shroomish. No matter the cost, Lizzy did not want to share the treasure they were hoping to find.  
“You’re a fekking idiot, you know that?” Lizzy said to Joey.  
“That’s the fifth time you’ve said that, Liz,” Joey replied indifferently.  
As they were going along their merry way, Lizzy spotted a Spinarak dangling high overhead. It was sleeping soundly and not bothering any other Pokemon in the vicinity. Nevertheless, Lizzy let out an ear piercing screech when she saw it.  
“Holy fek, it’s a spider! Kill it, kill it, kill it!”  
The Spinarak awoke abruptly and started its way down to the forest floor. Joey was silent, fearing that he may be poisoned along with the paralysis.  
“Shut up, Joey; we gotta get out of here!”  
Lizzy stood in the same spot as the Spinarak slowly inched down to the duo.  
“Why aren’t you running?” Joey asked.  
“I want you to carry me!” Lizzy spat.  
“What? I’m paralyzed!”  
The Spinarak moved about half a foot closer. It had about twenty more to go.  
“You mean you can’t move!?”  
“Why do you think you’ve been dragging me?”  
“EEK! It’s coming closer!”  
The Spinarak was about nineteen feet away from them, taking its sweet time.  
“You realize you can get us away, right?” Joey said nonchalantly.  
“Aren’t you the least bit scared? It’s a fekking spider!”  
“It’s going really slow. We could have been miles away by now. Besides, it has six legs, so it’s technically an insect, not a spider.”  
“Don’t pull the technical crap on me, they probably designed him like that because it took less effort. You know the games weren’t as technologically sound back then!”  
The Spinarak had moved a good four feet.  
“Look, just drag me out of here. There’s an exit to the east, if we start now, we can get out of the Spinarak’s way,” Joey pointed out.  
Lizzy stood staring at the creepy-crawly and continued to stay stationary. About fifteen minutes later, the Spinarak had only five feet left before the duo were in any danger.  
“Lizzy, we really need to go, it’s going to be dark soon.”  
Lizzy simply snored. She had fallen asleep.  
“Lizzy? Lizzy!”

 

Lizzy continued to drag Joey along. Joey, however, was no longer paralyzed. He was poisoned, though. The Spinarak finally caught them, completely ignoring Lizzy and going for the weaker target.  
“I think we’re close!” Lizzy whispered.  
“Right, and I’m perfectly healthy and totally not DYING!” Joey said irritably.  
“I can just smell the pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes I can buy!” Lizzy announced, licking her lips. “Don’t forget the tuna!”  
“Let’s say there was treasure,” Joey imagined. “You’re going on about what you would want to do with it… what would my share be?”  
Lizzy thought about it for a second. “Probably ninety-nine-point-nine percent for me, and point one percent for you.”  
Joey’s eyes widened. “W-what?”  
“That’s probably even overstating,” Lizzy replied.  
“So, what you’re saying is I don’t get any of the treasure, even if there is any?” Joey said, let down.  
“Pretty much,” Lizzy returned.  
The rest of the journey was a silent one. Neither said anything for a good while. Joey was running out of health rapidly due to his poison, and Lizzy trekked on, despite feeling a bit exhausted. Lizzy looked into the sky and gasped.  
“Oh, no… no, no, no, this… this can’t be happening!”  
Joey coughed a bit. He was starting to feel the effects of the poison.  
“The rainbow’s gone!” Lizzy cried.  
“Is it?” Joey asked, not necessarily caring that much.  
“That means we’ll never find the treasure!”  
“Cool,” Joey said with another cough. “Can we go home now?”  
Lizzy then started to wail like a Loudred. Her hopes of finding the gold at the end of the double rainbow were dashed away. She couldn’t bear the thought of it.  
“Oh, geez,” Joey sighed, laying in his spot. He waited for the poison in his system to kill him, slowly but surely.  
It appeared that all hope was lost for the both of them. Joey was going to die if Lizzy didn’t get past her greedy ways, and Lizzy was too depressed to consider the thought of helping her teammate. I know what you might be thinking at this point… actually, no, I don’t know what you may be thinking. But nevertheless, on with the story!  
“Joey… we failed. We failed the mission.”  
Joey was silent.  
“It’s gone now. We’ll never be able to…” Lizzy trailed off as she realized the error of her ways. “We… we never had a chance in the first place! The rainbow… it was just a refraction of light! How could I be so dumb?!”  
Joey didn’t say anything.  
“Oh, my gahd, Joey, I’m so sorry I got us dragged into this. Let’s just go home, okay?”  
Joey said nothing.  
“Joey?”  
Lizzy looked in Joey’s general direction to find him lying on his side. She noticed that his once flaming tail was no longer lit.  
“NO! What have I done!?”  
She rushed over to his limp body. She nudged him a bit, hoping she could stir him. But there was not a breath. He was dead as a doornail. Gone. Kaput. Sleeping the eternal sleep, taking a dirt nap, what more do you want me to say?  
Tears came to Lizzy’s face once more, this time in grieving. “I did this. I got us involved in this and got him killed! How am I going to bring him back?”  
“Try using an Oran Berry, man.”  
A voice startled her. She turned to look behind her and saw the Shroomish from earlier.  
“Where the fek did you come from?”  
“I followed you guys.”  
“Why?”  
“…Cuz, man. I think you’re pretty.”  
Lizzy stared at the mushroom Pokemon. She looked back at the body and sighed. “Well, even if that could work, we don’t have one. We left the adventure bag back at the base.”  
“I know where you can find one. But you need to be prepared, man.”  
“Prepared? For what?”

 

The two Pokemon stared at the stash of berries that were kept behind the sleeping Pikachu in the field.  
“That’s where we find it? What does he do with all these berries anyway?” Lizzy whispered.  
“It takes all the berries it can find and forces us to give it the ones we find,” The Shroomish, whose name was Greg, replied. “Try to sneak past it. You won’t stand a chance if it wakes up.”  
“How do you guys eat without berries?”  
“Some despicable things happen in this forest.”  
“Ew,” Lizzy grimaced. She took a long, hard look at the Pikachu off to the left of the berry stash. She tiptoed her way towards it, making sure to not make any noise that might wake him up. Step by step, she glanced back and forth in the general direction of the sleeping ‘Chu. Once she got to the pile of berries, she slowly grabbed a small blue berry, the one she recognized as the Oran Berry. She tiptoed back to Greg, briskly but quietly, and giggled.  
“That was easy enough! Now, let’s go get my Joey back.”

 

They made it back to where Joey lay. Lizzy couldn’t help but notice that Mandibuzz were starting to circle overhead. Being scavengers and all, they tend to follow death wherever it goes. Lizzy pushed Joey’s cold, lifeless body onto its back and pried open his mouth.  
“Alright! I hope this works!”  
She placed the Berry in his jaw and made him chew it up. She winced at the noises that started. She then started to rub his throat.  
“Come on, Joey! Breathe! Come back!”  
Just then, a mechanical kind of whirring was heard.  
“Target sighted. Initiating extermination.”  
The Skitty and Shroomish took a look at the character who called out the plan. It was the Pikachu from the berry stash. His eyes were an unnatural bright red color, and electricity lined his cheeks.  
“Oh, boy,” Lizzy commented.  
“We’re screwed, man! We need to get out of here!” Greg commanded.  
“I’m not leaving Joey behind!” Lizzy declared. “I’ll fight him off!”  
“Target has taken berry number 1245 of 13,796. Proceed to lethal bolt of electricity.”  
“Lethal?! Oh fek! Run!”  
Lizzy and Greg jumped to either side, making a break for it. The Pikachu let out a massive blue thunder bolt that struck Joey straight in the chest. The result was a massive explosion that ripped across the area. Lizzy cried out in fear.  
“No! Joey!”  
“Target acquired. Proceed to lethal bolt of electricity,” The Pikachu repeated almost mechanically.  
Lizzy hissed and threw a swift attack, one that hit the Pikachu square in the face, knocking it over. She took a look at where Joey once was, and saw nothing but a black mark in his place.  
Greg got up and shot a Bullet Seed at the Pikachu, which proceeded to go straight through it. The result was a few little holes in its hide, but other than that, it was perfectly fine.  
“Target acquired. Pro-pro-proceed to lethal bolt of e-e-electricity,” the freak stammered and twitched.  
“What the heck? What’s up with him?”  
The Pikachu let off another bolt of electricity, but it was just short of where Lizzy stood. It knocked her back a few feet, making her land on her face. When she got to turning onto her back, she saw the Pikachu making his way towards her, twitching to no end.  
“Target a-a-a-acqui-ui-uired. Pr-pr-pr-pr-proceed to le-le-lethal bolt of ele-lectri-tri-tricity.”  
She knew this was the end. She knew she was going to die at the hands of this mechanical freak. But come on, do you really expect the main character to die in this story? Of course not.  
The Pikachu stopped short of her, its head starting to warp. Soon, it pretty much exploded, sending chunks of red hot metal spewing to every direction. Once the ‘Chu fell over, Lizzy saw Joey standing there, breathing heavily with smoke coming out of his mouth.  
“J-joey… Oh my fekking gahd, you’re alive!”  
She ran over to her teammate and gave him a big hug. She was happy to see her friend alive once more.  
“I’m so sorry I got us into this! I didn’t mean to let you die or get us in the trouble we got into! Please! Forgive me!”  
“It’s fine,” Joey replied. “I’m happy to see you too.”

 

They made it back to base safe and sound. Though there was no treasure to be found, Lizzy was perfectly content knowing that she was with her teammates. That’s right, I said teammates. There’s a new member to the team, and his name is…  
“Greg! We got a new mission,” Joey called. “We gotta go to Boughbranch Woods and find some kid named Damien. He got separated from his friends, and we gotta find him.”  
“Got it, man!” Greg replied. “Lizzy, don’t forget the adventure bag this time!”  
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, team! We’ve got a dungeon to explore!”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed. It was late before I wrote it, and I was getting tired. Anyways, thanks for reading the story, and I hope it wasn’t too emotionally scarring! See you all later!


End file.
